¿como estoy terminada?

Right now, I'm not completely sure that I have the words to write a blog - but I'm going to try because I have to complete the story before I get home... before I reflect too long, before I'm back into the pace of my life in the USA. So here I am in my last night in my beloved Nicaragua.

Up until today I have been anticipating and even anxious for the return home. I haven't been PINING, i haven't been dying to get there... but I've been excited to see the family, the friends, the pets, to share my experiences, to work at Curves ;) etc. etc. I've been missing things like American food, my Serta mattress, not having mosquito bites, not relying on unreliable public transportation, faster internet... you know the little perks in our rich lives.

Well today I didn't feel any of that (nor yesterday honestly). Today as I look back went far too quickly - although it was filled, and passed better than I could've asked for. Today I realized anew what an effect the past 4 months has had on my life. Today was the culmination of one of the greatest experiences I could ever have. Today was also the commencement of an obligation - an obligation to remain in contact with, and continue relationships that I have formed here. In four months I have become a member of many families, and a part of very special groups of people. I have made life long relationships and now that I leave to live in my country again, I realize how easily these relationships could falter.

Today every moment that I looked into the faces of one of the kids or parents at Chacocente, or one of the members of the church here, or one of my family members in Sabana Grande my heart ached, because I don't know when I'll get to see them again. It was such a big life change for me to come to Nicaragua and be a missionary here... well in 4 months I've become accustomed and completely adapted - this is my life right now... tomorrow I have another big life change: returning home. However, this mission to Nicaragua will most definitely affect my return... I'm going home, yes. I am not going back to my "old life."

Here I've been changed, I've been transformed, molded, matured...
and I hope that what God has done to me through these amazing people in Chacocente and Sabana Grande, he has also done to them. I hope that my presence here has had even a SMALL FRACTION of the impact that they have had on me.

Today I had so many goodbyes, so many hugs and kisses, so many wishes of safe travel and blessings, plenty of gifts: bracelets, earrings, necklaces, and letters. Today at El Proyecto I visited, played, took pictures, ate a delicious lunch made by Manuela, and said adios. This evening, I went to Church and was blessed and prayed over, just as I was at Chacocente. I packed my luggage... I wrote my journal entry... I had my nails painted by my little sister Belén so they look "tueni" when I come home...

Tomorrow I have a long day of traveling, and the next couple weeks are going to be absolutely filled. It's Christmas (I've nearly forgotten as it doesn't get below 75 degrees here!), and I have gifts to wrap... I have 4 months of luggage to unpack, and friends and family to see and visit, I am scheduled for Curves, I have to pack for COLLEGE!, I have appointments, I have a presentation to prepare, and letters to write... and then I'm off to Asbury. I'm returning to the fast paced American culture - where we do and do and go and go and are always on the run. I pray that although I return to this I don't lose what I've learned here... to slow down and enjoy the little things. To constantly praise God in everything you're doing. To find joy and purpose, to feel useful and helpful... without having a jam-packed schedule filled with frustration and headache. There is so much I'm bringing home with me (I hope my suitcases don't weigh too much haha!) my heart is overflowing. The love and the care - the warmth and the generosity - the unending blessings that I have been given from my family in Nicaragua... ¡A LA GRANDE!

Jehová te bendiga, y te guarde; Jehová haga resplandecer su rostro sobre ti, y tenga de ti misericordia; Jehová alce sobre ti su rostro, y ponga en ti paz. Números 6:24-26