¿como estoy terminada?

Right now, I'm not completely sure that I have the words to write a blog - but I'm going to try because I have to complete the story before I get home... before I reflect too long, before I'm back into the pace of my life in the USA. So here I am in my last night in my beloved Nicaragua.

Up until today I have been anticipating and even anxious for the return home. I haven't been PINING, i haven't been dying to get there... but I've been excited to see the family, the friends, the pets, to share my experiences, to work at Curves ;) etc. etc. I've been missing things like American food, my Serta mattress, not having mosquito bites, not relying on unreliable public transportation, faster internet... you know the little perks in our rich lives.

Well today I didn't feel any of that (nor yesterday honestly). Today as I look back went far too quickly - although it was filled, and passed better than I could've asked for. Today I realized anew what an effect the past 4 months has had on my life. Today was the culmination of one of the greatest experiences I could ever have. Today was also the commencement of an obligation - an obligation to remain in contact with, and continue relationships that I have formed here. In four months I have become a member of many families, and a part of very special groups of people. I have made life long relationships and now that I leave to live in my country again, I realize how easily these relationships could falter.

Today every moment that I looked into the faces of one of the kids or parents at Chacocente, or one of the members of the church here, or one of my family members in Sabana Grande my heart ached, because I don't know when I'll get to see them again. It was such a big life change for me to come to Nicaragua and be a missionary here... well in 4 months I've become accustomed and completely adapted - this is my life right now... tomorrow I have another big life change: returning home. However, this mission to Nicaragua will most definitely affect my return... I'm going home, yes. I am not going back to my "old life."

Here I've been changed, I've been transformed, molded, matured...
and I hope that what God has done to me through these amazing people in Chacocente and Sabana Grande, he has also done to them. I hope that my presence here has had even a SMALL FRACTION of the impact that they have had on me.

Today I had so many goodbyes, so many hugs and kisses, so many wishes of safe travel and blessings, plenty of gifts: bracelets, earrings, necklaces, and letters. Today at El Proyecto I visited, played, took pictures, ate a delicious lunch made by Manuela, and said adios. This evening, I went to Church and was blessed and prayed over, just as I was at Chacocente. I packed my luggage... I wrote my journal entry... I had my nails painted by my little sister Belén so they look "tueni" when I come home...

Tomorrow I have a long day of traveling, and the next couple weeks are going to be absolutely filled. It's Christmas (I've nearly forgotten as it doesn't get below 75 degrees here!), and I have gifts to wrap... I have 4 months of luggage to unpack, and friends and family to see and visit, I am scheduled for Curves, I have to pack for COLLEGE!, I have appointments, I have a presentation to prepare, and letters to write... and then I'm off to Asbury. I'm returning to the fast paced American culture - where we do and do and go and go and are always on the run. I pray that although I return to this I don't lose what I've learned here... to slow down and enjoy the little things. To constantly praise God in everything you're doing. To find joy and purpose, to feel useful and helpful... without having a jam-packed schedule filled with frustration and headache. There is so much I'm bringing home with me (I hope my suitcases don't weigh too much haha!) my heart is overflowing. The love and the care - the warmth and the generosity - the unending blessings that I have been given from my family in Nicaragua... ¡A LA GRANDE!

Jehová te bendiga, y te guarde; Jehová haga resplandecer su rostro sobre ti, y tenga de ti misericordia; Jehová alce sobre ti su rostro, y ponga en ti paz. Números 6:24-26

Alabanza a Jehová

Es alabanza, adoracíon, lo que te ofrezco, Señor, en el nombre maravilloso del Jesús...

Thursday night I stayed at El Proyecto - as I have become so accustomed to doing. I had the opportunity for the first time, however, to attend culto with some of the families. We went down the road a little ways to a "church" nearby. I had met the pastor before, but I had never seen the "church". It really brought the words to the good old hymn to life... "The church is not a building, the church is not a steeple..." We arrived to a pavilion-like set up with just enough plastic chairs for the roughly 20 of us who were there, and a simple wooden pulpit. It was completely open to the outside, and it was a beautiful fresh night. We had no instruments for music, no hymnals or a screen for song lyrics, no microphone, no altar, no offering plate, but the Spirit was alive. We sang with joy using the instruments God made in us - and maybe we weren't in tune, or rhythm, or even altogether, but we sang with our whole selves - offering worship to our Lord. Our scripture reading was Luke 10:38-42:

38As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. 40But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"41"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, 42but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

And then we had a brief reflection on it - reminding us of the importance of God's word. Of not busying ourselves with things of this world - things we think we have to do, preparations we have to make, obligations we must fulfill - and to slow ourselves down and take in the Words of Jesus.
We prayed, we listened to the word, we sang, we gave our offerings, we shared the Spirit. It was a small group of people, it was a simple set-up, we didn't have any technology, or great worship band, or drama team, or liturgical dance, or background music, or food/fellowship time, or special lighting... we just gathered and praised His name. For me, simplicity is bliss when worshiping.


So, last night was Saturday. And here at the church in Sabana Grande Saturday is Culto de Jovenes (Young folk's Worship). Well, Pablo's (my host dad/pastor) mother just had surgery. So, the Jovenes decided that it would be a good idea to go visit her. We met together before we left and prayed, then we gathered some money to buy some juice as a gift to the family. We walked over to Abuela Rosa Emelia's house and gathered in her living room. After everyone greeted her Hermano Pedro explained why we came we a darling little illustration: "If I had a hammer, and I hammered one of Rebekah's toes, would only her toe hurt, or would her whole body feel it?" And of course Abuelo went over and got the hammer for us to try... haha. And Pedro continued, "Of course, she would feel it in her whole body. Well it's the same with Christ's body. When one of our members is hurting, we all feel it."
So, we surrounded Abuela and read some scripture; we sang some songs; we prayed for her. It's sad though, because she can't really talk right now because her surgery was a removing a tumor from her neck that was causing her to lose her voice - and right now her voice is very delicate, so she can't even speak. But because of this tumor, she hasn't been able to sing for years. Isaac told me that she used to pass for specials in church all the time to sing. Last night we sang three of her favorite songs - two Psalms, 23 and 103, and El Gradacemiento.
Two things touched me significantly. First, the majority of the Jovenes did not know the words to these songs by heart, we used our Bibles for the Psalms, and then the final one was led by the few and the brave... we had no accompaniment with us, and sounded... well horrible I'm sure. But we sang, regardless... Second, Abuela... although she couldn't sing with us, was mouthing the words to the songs right along with us... and you could tell that although a sound didn't leave her mouth, she sang with her heart.
The love of the young people of El Buen Pastor was apparent as they gladly gave their Saturday night to a recuperating elderly woman who just needed a little lift up, a little prayer, and little extra touch of Jesus' love.

to lose everything...

On Tuesday afternoon I arrived at Project Chacocente to spend a couple days with my loves, my family, my friends. I went to Rosaura's house to visit, and found Migdalia (my current, very talented piano student!!!) picking up dried stalks of beans; so I went over to help. We stuffed a big bag full of the dried up bean stalks. Whenever we were done she tied it closed and grabbed a big branch and started to beat the bag. After about 10 minutes she dumped it all out onto a tarp - the vast majority of the beans had been beaten out of their pods! So then we de-podded those that hadn't. After this we would pick up handfulls of the bean stalks and beans and then drop them back onto the tarp. The beans, which were heavier would fall straight onto the tarp, and all the dust and dirt and stalk remains would fly further away into the wind. It took probably 20 minutes or more but we had all the beans gathered from this set of stalk. After that we de-podded other beans from more dried stalk - but she didn't beat these ones - I think she just was too tired, because she really had to put a lot of effort into it before. After a couple hours of working we had a big bowlful of beans - enough for dinner that night.
WOW! Never have I had to work so hard just to get a part of my dinner. If I'm having beans, I pull out a can, open it with my electric can-opener, stick it in a pot on the stove and voila - beans! Maybe I'm going old-school and having some fresh beans from some garden... so, oh it's really rough to snap a few beans stick them in a pot with some water, and voila - beans! Either is going to take me less than 10 minutes and didn't take hard labor in the hot sun.
Although, the labor in the sun wasn't all that bad; granted I don't have to do it everyday, but Migdalia and I spent the time talking. She is such a sweet and responsible girl. She's 15 years old, but she does the majority of the work around the house, because her mom is always off working to make some money. Migdalia has as much a part in raising her younger siblings as Rosaura.

I stayed the night with Rosaura's family. It passed really well. We had fun talking, playing with my camera, watching TV. I enjoyed myself very much... except while we were watching some Novela (soap opera) I decided to look through my pictures and sort of got lost in playing with my camera... I was discovering new settings that I had never taken the time to look through, trying new buttons, etc... and who knew, but something I pressed erased EVERYTHING! Now, don't worry too much, it was my second time filling this memory card, and I have probably 1500 videos and pictures safely saved elsewhere... but I lost 664 photos from the past 3 weeks. From Itamar's wedding (luckily I had 60 of these saved in the computer) until yesterday! This included the Sixth Grade Promotion, the Ballet Folklorico that I went to the theater to see, the trip to the Pool with some friends, two different reunions with the Youth in the Church, the trip with Madeling to her families' homes, the festival that just happened in church here in which I passed in three dances, a drama, and sang twice, and the video of Culto (worship) Monday night, where I gave the sermon - in Spanish, and of course three weeks of daily trips to Chacocente.

Now, to further depress you, but on a more serious level. We have a lovely family at the Project: Nelson, Vilma, Jonathan, and Chelsea. A couple weeks ago, Vilma and her two children went up north to visit Grandma because she's not doing well healthwise. On Friday while they were away, Nelson was down at La Casona in the Project and his house caught fire. When it was seen by his neighbors (I don't remember who was the first to see it) they went running to La Casona to let Nelson know. People tried helping, but EVERYTHING was lost. The house was burned out. So, a few days later, when Vilma and the kids returned they came home to an empty home. Vilma had gotten and been saving away new clothes for December (for Christmas!), she had a whole bunch of hammocks that she had made/been working on to sell when the Delegations come to work. The house still smells of smoke and the walls are black, the roof supports are ruined and are beginning to sag. The one thing that survived the fire is an orange blanket covered with the words "Jesús me ama." (Jesus loves me.) Half of it hangs in their window as a curtain, and the over half is hanging on a wooden pole that they erected, kind of as a memorium I guess. The family is sleeping on two cots that were purchased by the Project for a couple of Americans who are coming to stay in a couple months... they are borrowing them until they can do something about the beds. This family definitely needs all the prayer and support they can get...

You know, I was so mad, sad, annoyed, frustrated, when I lost my pictures and I was hoping that somehow the pictures could come back... that God would perform a little miracle for me, mostly so I would be able to send pictures that I had promised to the people here... and I'm still a little sad about it... but today when I saw Nelson, Vilma, Chelsea, and Jonathan I was reminded of their great loss, and yet they're still moving along, and sticking together... in comparison to their situation, the loss of my pictures is nothing.

And thank you God that when it all comes down to it the material doesn't matter... the material can be erased, or burned in a fire... but what do I have?
Amazing memories and experiences from the family-bonds I've formed with the people in Project Chacocente and Sabana Grande - and I will never lose that.

un parte de la familia

Madeling Mercedes Arellano Obando is one of my friends at Proyecto Chacocente. She is 16 years old and a daughter of Manuela (so she's like my little sister). We spend a lot of hours working the family store together; so, we spend a lot of time talking. Last week she invited me to accompany her Saturday to visit some of her family who live elsewhere. And of course, I accepted. I had already met the family we were going to visit - and enjoyed them so much; therefore, I was excited for the chance to get together with them.

(Earlier in the week her Aunt and Uncle came to visit the Project. When Manuela was introducing the family to them, as it had been awhile since they'd seen her kids, she introduced me as well and said "Ella es mi hija, también." ("She is my daughter, too.") I don't know how to describe the feeling her words gave me. I felt so loved and accepted, and sort of wanted to cry... so I almost tackled her with a big hug!)

So, on Saturday, I met Madeling at the roadside to catch the bus and off we went to Tipitapa. We arrived at her Tío Marcos' and Tía Conny's house and were welcomed with open arms. Her Great Uncle Marcos' is Manuela's Uncle and he and his wife Conny were so hospitable. They sat us down in rocking chairs and just started talking away.

Then they put a DVD in to watch- El Niño del Oro (The Child of Gold) it was a music video of a 10 year old Nicaraguan boy who sings. They say he has a "voice of gold." He sings Christian songs and preaches, too! After watching it, they gave it to me to keep, along with their phone number and address, and they expect me to keep in touch!

I was also fed so much food! It began with a plate of watermelon... then an hour later a glass of coke and a piece of cake... then maybe an hour and a half later it was time for lunch. We had grilled pork, rice, fried plantains, and a cole-slaw-salad. It was absolutely delicious, as is pretty much all food to me... haha.

In the afternoon Madeling and I went off to Managua to visit another Aunt of hers - Manuela's sister. She lives near La Churreca (the dump) in a neighborhood that is awful, but at least it has clean air and they aren't scavenging through garbage. The house they live in though was two rooms and had black plastic for the inside walls. There wasn't much to it, but they didn't hesitate to find me a seat, give me a glass of soda, and proceed to show me all of the family pictures they had (which were few). Materialistically, they had so little - but they were filled with love and hospitality.

La Promocíon de Sexto Grado

Sunday was a special day at Chacocente... for the school and teachers, the students, the families of the Project, and really the entire neighborhood.
Sixth grade graduation is a big deal in this country. Finishing Primería and heading off to Secandario is what the ceremony signifies... but to the people here it meant so much more.

Four students graduated sixth grade at La Escuela Cristiana Chacocente this year: David, 13; José, 12; Yomara, 14 (but her 15th birthday is this month! the day after i leave, im so mad im missing out on the Quinceñera!!!) and Kevin, 14. Kevin is not from the Project - but he lives in the neighborhood.

Isaac (my brother from Sabana Grande) and I arrived at the Project a couple hours before the ceremony to help set up. The cafeteria of the school was soon completely transformed, with streamers and banners and balloons. People from the Project and neighborhood, family members, even some from out of town, arrived early (Nicaraguans don't get places early) and found themselves seats. Even if they had no relation to those graduating, they were in attendance for the program.

The four graduates were announced and escorted in and blessed. Then the Program began with different drama and song numbers by each class. I played the piano and led the Second Graders in "El Niño y El Tambor" (the Little Drummer Boy). They did so well! After countless practices that weren't always so fruitful, they pulled it off spectacularly! There was a drama about music notes with a combination of students all the grades. The Pre-scholar class had an awesome set up with great props as they acted the song "La Chinita" and three of the teachers sang it.

One part in the Ceremony the graduating 6th graders passed the Nicaraguan and the School's flags onto the upcoming 6th graders as a symbol that they are now the ones to care for the flags and lead the school. It was interesting because we don't do that in our culture, but it's standard for Promotion ceremonies here.

One part of the promotion that I really appreciated was when the director had me stand up to thank me for being there and for all I have done. It felt really good to be recognized - even though in comparison to what everyone else there has done for these kids and this school up until their graduation - I have done hardly anything!

At the end of the ceremony there was food for all and lots of pictures taken, hugs given, congratulations all around... it was a beautiful day.

Education is not highly valued by the average Nicaraguan; yet (as with everywhere) it is essential in order to become successful. These graduates are the third group to complete 6th grade at Chacocente's school, and among the first in their families to have graduated. (Knowing where their families have been, this is such an amazing life moment!) I am so proud of the 4 graduates, as they have worked so very hard to get to where they are. In January they will begin Secandario (High School). Chacocente's school is the best elementary school in the neighborhood, and the quality of education as well as the curriculum is significantly superior to that of the High School where these kids are headed. The Project hopes to some day have a Secandario as well... this would be such an advantage to our students. So, please keep this vision on your hearts and in your prayers.

Compartiendo Corázones

Here I am at home - El Proyecto Chacocente - surrounded by my loves... I can't totally express how much this place means to me. My family here is one of the greatest blessings I could have - and I really mean overall in my life - and not just here in Nicaragua... (excerpt from my Journal - November 24th)

Although I won't be in the United States for Thanksgiving, I still plan on celebrating it within myself. For I have a wealth of things to be thankful for - especially as I look around me here in Nicaragua and see how very blessed I am.

I spent a couple hours on Monday and Tuesday at the Project working with the Second Grade class on "El Niño y El Tambor" (the Little Drummer Boy). Because on Sunday is the 6th Grade Graduation Ceremony, and the second grade is going to be singing this - and I will be playing/directing.

School is out now, (except for Practice for La Promocion on Sunday) but I still go to the Project daily to see my extended family members, to give piano lessons to the few ambitious, to play with the kids, and to teach ballet to the girls who care to learn.

Monday I had the pleasure of working with Darling on the piano - boy she is a fast learner! She is also great at memorizing; so, in this last month here I hope she can absorb a lot!

Last week I taught some ballet to a few of the girls... we were just playing around and they were trying the moves that I was doing. The only ballet they are familiar with is from the Barbie Princess Ballerina movie that they've seen on TV. So, whatever I do is pretty amazing to them. Well, on Monday Rosa and Margarita were bored, and wanted to dance with me. After a few minutes Rosa gave up, but Margarita stuck with it.
She really wants to dance - and that excites me. She tried each move so hard, and so carefully, watching my every move. And each time she fumbled two words came out of her mouth, "No puedo." ("I can't") Well this took me right back to ballet lessons with Traci McClafferty a decade ago. Traci would NOT hear the word "can't" in her studio, ever. There was no excuse for such an attitude. Well Traci, I'm proud to say I've passed on your legacy. Each time Margarita said that awful phrase, I retorted positively: "¡Si! ¡Puedes!" and she would try again... and again...

To teach the little skills I am familiar with, whether ballet or piano or singing or even art class, introduces them to something that is extremely rare in this country. The arts and creativity are not widespread or available to the average person here. As the first grade teacher Yamileth put it... These types of things are just dreams for us; things that we would love to know, but know we'll never have. These are also things that I have taken for granted my whole life: music and art classes in school, dance lessons, piano lessons, voice lessons, chorus, musicals, dramas, church plays... again, I'm finding myself overwhelmingly thankful here.

The kids here get bored a lot... so they do things like play with their slingshots. They're all really awesome at them - I would say playing with a slingshot is like their videogames. José taught me how to do it. I have no aim, at all... and can get little distance. But even the 4 year old Deyvín can aim at a treebranch and hit a leaf off! I just hope that my presence at the Project relieves some of their boredom. I realize that kids get "bored" everywhere - but growing up in the United States, you have countless TV channels, toys, games, computers, videogames, sports, clubs, music, activities out the window to keep you unbored... here in Nicaragua the kids have significantly fewer resources with which to entertain themselves.

I had the pleasure of staying the night at Basilia and Pedro's home, with them and their kids: Juan, Amelia, José and Deyvín. When I arrived I joined Basilia and Pedro in peeling beans from their garden for dinner. Deyvín, who is 4 and my favorite Pre-schooler, helped me out, and I spent probably two hours sitting outside with them bean-peeling and visiting. Deyvín and I had a great time playing together - teasing each other, tickling each other, oh and getting the beans ready... ? haha

He is really something else - the calm, shy, quiet boy who've I've written about before is transforming everyday - and not just as he opens up to me, but as he opens up to the world. After all this young one has been through it's truly a miracle that he is still alive; and furthermore, a Godsend that he's becoming this outgoing, funloving child.

Amelia is 14, and she taught me how to make the bracelets that the women make to sell to all the American Mission delegations that come to work at the Project. I made four - and must say I'm pretty good at it now. Although Amelia can do one in 10 or 15 minutes, and the first one I did took me an hour! They sell them for a dollar, and can make a pretty good profit. It's a great way for them to get some extra cash to support themselves.

Later that night, after most everyone was in bed, I sat outside under the spectacular starry night sky, with the balmy palms framing the cloudy, deep, dark, blue heavens... talking of matters of the heart. Basilia and Pedro had three other children. Four years ago, about two months before they and their family moved to Project Chacocente, they were living in the City Dump and it was just after the New Year's Celebrations. This is prime picking for young children - because people may have thrown out their Holiday goodies. Well three of Basilia's young children found what they thought were some good-eats. They had themselves a very merry little New Year's treat - and it cost them their lives, because it was poisoned. Just two months before they were safely out of La Churreca and into the loving supporting life-saving community that is Project Chacocente. Basilia was sharing this with me, and how it is so difficult for her each year around January 8th and 9th. She still doesn't understand why three of her children were taken from her, and it hurts so much to think of it. But she is strong, and she keeps living happily and working hard and loving her husband and her four children. She almost lost little Deyvín that year, too. The death of his brothers had such a horrible effect on him as only a 1 year old. He wouldn't eat, he couldn't walk, and it took the grace of God and the determination of Charito Avery and Basilia and the family to bring Deyvín back to Health, and now to the glowing, growing child he has become.

Here I am to serve these people, but what can I offer? A little bit of my artsy talents? My time and energy to entertain their children? A helping hand with dinner or watching the store? What I do is so little, and yet maybe it is enough. Maybe sometimes all people need is someone to tell them I love you and I care about you. Someone to really listen to their life's stories. Someone to be there. Someone with whom they can share their heart.

Here I am, Lord. You sent me.

Good Ol' Downhome Casamiento Nicaragüense

"It's not every Northamerican who comes here who gets to actually be in a wedding!" -Charito

Saturday was an awesome cultural experience. One that I've actually been planning for, for awhile. My "cousin" Itamar got married. About a month or two ago she asked me to be one of the damas in her wedding. This really surprised me, because I didn't know her very well. However, I immediately accepted. What girl doesn't love to get dressed up and be in a wedding? (Well, I guess I know many, but I'm not one of them!)

Sandra - a lady in the church, my neighbor, and my friend Joel's mom - made my dress after I bought the material in the market. The material cost 65 cordoba per meter. I bought 2 meters. For Sandra to make my dress it cost me 110 cordoba. So I spent 240 cordoba on a brand new, handmade formal dress, fit to my body. (Divide 240 by 29.5 and you get US dollars... I love spending money in Nicaragua!)

Here the bride chooses the damas, and then each dama chooses her caballero. I chose Joel because he had originally been asked to go with someone, but then she ended up not being able to go to the wedding, so he was free and had been planning on going, plus he's my friend! So, the groom actually has no say in the men at all - except for his best man or caballero de honor. Isaac - my brother - was the caballero de honor. This is because Itamar was his favorite cousin and Guillermo (or Memo) was his best friend, and he brought them together. (cute, eh?) My sister Belén wasLa Esperanza (Hope) and wore green; Itamar's sister, Sharon, was La Guía - she led the procession carrying the Bible, and wore red. There were 18 damas and caballeros, as well as a whole group of young girls, and then one little girl and one little boy who carried the rings. Talk about a huge wedding party.

My preparation started the night before when Belén painted my fingernails and toenails, along with Itamar's and a handful of the other damas. Then I plucked Itamar's eyebrows - so I feel like I contributed something to her special day, haha. On Saturday everybody was crazy getting ready, but we all arrived at Itamar's house at 2:30 en punto dressed, beautied, and ready to line up. Except for Joel - my caballero. He wasn't there yet. When we all lined up everyone had their pair, except for me. It was three and even the people who had come late were there and lined up. I was a little nervous he wouldn't make it; however, totally thankful that I'm tall here and therefore was lined up as the second to last person. Well we were all taking our first steps and the mariachi band had begun to play when Joel came running. :) Just in time.

The entire processional, beginning with Sharon, La Guía, and ending with Itamar, accompanied by her brother, Enoc. A mariachi band played, and we walked through the town from her house to the church. It was like a parade, and people who were going to the wedding joined in the processional walking beside us. People who weren't going to the wedding came out of their houses and watched as we walked by. I've been in far too many parades, so it didn't feel awkward at all, but it's definitely a difference in culture.

When we got to the church the entire congregation stood for the processional from beginning to end, not just for when the bride entered. We walked to the front of church and then the damas filed into the first rows of seats on the right, and the caballeros to the left. La Guía, La Esperanza, y El Caballero y La Dama de Honor all sat in chairs off to the right as well. In the center up front were chairs for the bridge and groom, as well as one to the left of the bridge where her grandfather sat (usually it's the father) and one to the right of the groom where his mother sat.

The ceremony began with music from the Mariachi band, then Pablo and Janeth (the uncle and aunt, as well as the pastor and wife) led us in praise music. Isaac read the scripture from Genesis 2. We sang more praise, and Pablo gave a brief reflection. Then they had the lighting of the unity candle, the vows, the exchange of rings and a blessing. Between the ring exchangement and the blessing they had a part where first the groom has a handful of coins, and places them one by one into the palms of the bride. She then repeats the same thing. It's symbolic that in their marriage are going to share their benefits. After the blessing everyone in the church went forward to greet the new couple and their family - rather than the couple proceeding down the aisle. After all of the salutations, the wedding party lined up in the aisle and made a tunnel with our arms for the bridge and groom to pass under, and then each pair in the processional followed them to their house for the reception.

The backyard of the house was filled with plastic tables and chairs decorated with candles and there were balloons and streamers and strings of lights brightening everything up. There was a live band and plenty of food and pop, and of course a huge wedding cake to celebrate. They even had the tossing of the bouquet. There was no dancing, and no garter... but the reception was a lot like one in the United States - only a little more "down home, country" type of thing rather than a fancy wedding. Honestly, I felt like I was at a family reunion, only everyone was dressed up.

I feel so blessed to have partaken in the wedding, though. So many people from the States who know Itamar because they came to Nicaragua for the same reason I have, have expressed their jealously and their wishes that they could have been at the wedding. So I feel pretty lucky to have been in it! Also, it was such a testament to the love and community within the church El Buen Pastor of Sabana Grande. I felt loved and accepted, as well as a part of everything - and it wasn't even my wedding!

beautiful blossoms

The flowers here are always bright and blooming...
and there is such a wide variety of blossoms.
Everyday as I go to the Project I feel like God has given me hundreds of little gifts to see and smell... in red and purple and yellow and orange and pink... all sizes and shapes and scents.
Nicaragua's wildflowers are absolutely gorgeous.

My students at Chacocente are also bright and colorful...
and sometimes I get to see them bloom, too:

On my keyboard that I use for music class there is a song bank with about 50 songs. One of them is La Cucaracha. My kids always want to "play" it. They sit at the piano and they mess around with the keys while the actual song plays in the background... Then there's Jonathan - he's a musical one. He started really listening to the keys as he played them, and trying to match them with the song. He had the beat going along with it, and was being so creative and risky. He also tried to imitate a pianist's hands, rather than just pounding. The cool thing was it actually sounded alright! (especially if you LOVE DISSONANCE! right Mr. Young???)

Lately, we've been singing "Busca primero el Reino de Dios." The first day I taught it to the Second Grade class they were so absorbant, and automatically wanted to do it "uno por uno" (one by one). Jonathan wanted to go first of course. I've already seen his music skills displayed many times. But WOW! He sang the song FLAWLESSLY and had just learned it!
In first grade, they too were surprisingly in love with "Busca primero." However, not so many were enthusiastic to do it "uno por uno," except for Douglas and Ramón; they wanted to sing it together! Not only did this surprise me coming from those two ripsnorts, while listening to them I was at first taken aback and then filled with pride. These two first grade boys sang with strength and emotion, and they HARMONIZED!

I recently taught "Dona Nobis Pacem" because the notes vary in that song, and it's helpful for teaching how to sing (as most of my kids sing monotone and shouty) or at least for understanding how a song isn't just a bunch of words put together. In the fourth fifth and sixth grade class things generally get a bit rowdy - the kids are older and don't always like to listen... and usually don't like to sing, either. This instance was such. I think about 4 of the students were actually standing beside me at the piano paying some attention while I played and led them... and in my ear I heard a beautiful soprano voice matching mine. I turned my head slightly to put a face to the unrecognized voice... YAMARA! I had never actually heard her while we sang - and to hear her sing out so clearly and in tune just tickled me pink!

Deyvín is a shy little one. He's 4 years old and in my Prescholar class. Recently he's opened up to me and will hug me, call my name, tease me, play with me, rest on my lap, etc. But generally he's very quiet and doesn't talk or interact very much. I taught the song "Cristo me ama" during one of our first music classes a couple months ago... back when Deyvín didn't fully participate and just kind of curiously observed me. Well, as I was leaving the Project, I heard a youngun's voice singing "Cristo me ama" at the top of his lungs. It took me a few moments to realize to whom the voice belonged - because never before had I heard Deyvín make so much noise!!!

I hope this collection of blossoms from the past week has blessed you, too.

quedando en el proyecto

"...el hogar está donde está tu corázon..."

I haven't written in awhile I know, and I have learned that many people have been waiting anxiously for an update. So, here you are... I hope it was well worth the wait. I know for me what is encompassed in this blog reflects the best days I have had in Nicaragua yet... I hope you, too can feel my joy as I attempt to accurately and fully relate my fulfilling experiences.

Since I have last written, I have stayed the night at Project Chacocente twice. This simple thing is what has really made Chacocente my home, and its people my family. Mi mamá Nicaraguense is Manuela. She is married to Marcos and has 10 children (the last 5 are Marcos' children, too... the first five are from Manuela's first husband): Veronica, Jasmina, Pepé, Karyn, Uriel, Madelin, David, Darlin, Máycool, and Tatiana. Veronica is married to José Luis and has a daughter, Yamada. Jasmina is married to Rodolfo and has six children: Edwin, Gabriel, Nelson, Eva, Eveling, and Esperanza. Pepé doesn't live at the Project. Karyn is married to Juan Carlos and they have four children: Katherin, Andrea, Alinson, and Adriana. Uriel is 19, and he is my closest friend at the Project, I love to hang out with him and talk about everything. Madelin is 15, in her first year of secandario (High School). She is my roomate when I stay there, and we talk to each other about everything. David is 13... oh David. He's in 6th grade and one of my absolute favorite students. He's smart and funny, so caring and helpful... and is trying to learn English. He's really motivated, and could honestly succeed in life. Darlin is 11, she is really talented with music class, and probably the best student I have in that. She is also always out for a good time, she's fun and loud and has awesome hair (it's just like mine!). Máycool (Michael) is 7. He is so sweet, and talks with a lisp. I just love him, he's the one I wrote about in my last blog - and is so cute. The other night we were watching some silly action film before bed. He had seen it before, and every other second he was saying: "¡Mire Rebekah!" ("Look!") it was so funny. "Look at this... watch this... this is going to happen..." It was like watching a movie with my little brother. Finally there is Tatiana, she is 6. She has a lot of older brothers and sisters, and nieces and nephews (most of them are older than her) looking out for her, and I think that can sometimes be stressful on her too. But she's a happy little thing, and loves to play games with me.

The house I stay in has 3 rooms, and two front doors. The main room has 3 beds, a table, a few shelves, a small television, and ironing board, three plastic chairs, and one rocking chair; the room that the other front door enters into is Madelin's room. It has two beds, a desk, and some shelves, and a small stereo, it's only door is to outside. This is my bedroom when I stay there, when I'm not there I don't really know who shares it with her, but I'm taking someone's bed. The third room is a long room, not very wide, but it is the length of the house, and it has the shower in it, and a couple shelves and a table. Behind the house outside, there's a makeshift overhang under which is the kitchen. The outhouse is also outback - complete with a telephone book for toilet paper! Materialistically, they are poor... but this family is so rich in love and care I cannot describe it in words.
The other night I was headed to bed at the Project, and as I was entering the room I noticed it was filled with smoke. I was wondering to myself why as Madelin came out with a shovelful of fire! This was what I call a "third world whoa!" What she had been doing was warming up our beds, by putting the fire underneath them, as well as smoking out the mosquitos. This isn't exactly a ritual we are accustomed to, so it surprised me at first, but it wasn't something that needed explained to me, because its purpose was obvious.

My classes have been going well. They've been rewarding,frustrating, exciting, annoying, thrilling, etc. But it's not excitement for my classes that gets me out of bed at 5:30 every morning to get ready, and take three buses, and a 2 km bike ride to the Project. It's the people that I get to be with when I arrive. Riding, or walking, into the Project is one of my favorite parts of the day. As I pass each house, or each person I receive an excited greeting... regardless of whether it's a "student" or if it's a parent. They all wish me good morning with the same happiness and enthusiasm. This makes me feel like I am coming home, every day that I go to work. When I get to La Casona (the big house) where Manuela's Pulpería is, and now Rosaura's Librería (it's a school supply store). I get to see my Nicaraguan mom, and usually Karyn and Veronica too. Visiting and conversing outside of La Casona is how I spend nearly every break, and lunchtime in my day.

Oh, so much has happened in the past couple weeks, I wish I could share everything in detail. But last night I was journaling and I covered 24 pages for just 3 days. It took me about 2 hours to write! I guess I will share a couple of stories...

When I stayed the night on Tuesday at Chacocente. It was probably about 5:00 pm, and starting to get dark. Manuela, Karyn, Rosaura, Uriel and some of his friends, and a handful of kids were all down at La Casona. I was dragged by Tatiana, Darlin, Katherin, Andrea, Alinson, Deyvín, and Adrianita to play games. We played "Tía Monica" it's a silly song where you stand in a circle, and one person is Aunt Monica, and then we all sing and dance... "Yo tengo una Tía, una Tía Monica y cuando va de compras, me dice, 'hola-la'..." it goes on and on. I also learned "Ratóncito, Ratóncito". This one one person is the mouse, and the other is the cat. Everyone else stands in a circle holding hands guarding the mouse. Then the cat and the mouse have a conversation, the cat asks the mouse what time he's leaving his hole, and whatever the hour, the circle guarding the mouse goes around that many times, counting aloud. Then the mouse has to make a run for it, and the cat chases it, if it is caught before it reaches the mousehole again, it's eaten. We had a blast.

Later that night, everyone had gone back to their houses, except for Uriel and his friends, and Manuela who was running the store. It was probably 6 or 6:30. So, I stayed with Manuela and she and I talked for near on two hours. It was such a blessing, and it made my heart so full, so whole, to listen to her. To hear what the Project, Cheryl, and we "Americanos" who come work, mean to her, and to her life. To learn about her life before the Project, and all that she has been through and experienced. This woman impresses me so much. She has such a deep faith, and is so humble. She is more generous than most of the people I have ever met, and yet she has so little to give, except her love and her time. She works hard to provide for her family, and also to serve whoever needs it. I feel her giving spirit everyday, whether she's feeding me, or giving me her seat, or making sure I am well and have everything I need. I see her apparent generosity when she is serving everyone else as well, her husband, children, son-in-laws, grandchildren, the teachers, the school, the students, her neighbors... she does it with a smile on her face, and always thinking of others before herself. Talking to her that night meant so much to me.
I was surprised to find out from Charito the next night (Cheryl came to the Project Wednesday night, and we had a little party with food and games and a piñata to celebrate everything she has done for them... they also honored me, which was so touching) that Manuela had told her the same... she, too, had really enjoyed our conversation Tuesday night. That shot my spirit to the skies. My presence at Chacocente is making a difference, I am having a positive effect on these people's lives (and not just in a classroom...) although I assure you, the impact Chacocente is having on mine is significantly greater.

...other seed fell on good soil

"A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown." Matthew 13:3-8

As I was on my way to the Project this morning I saw the literal apparence of this passage in a new field... there were stalks that had shot up high early, there were stalks growing well and steadily, there were patches where nothing good was to grow, and there were areas with more weeds than crop... and seeing this made me think of Matthew 13, then it made me think of my own experience the other day...

Michael is in second grade. He is 7 years old, has light brown hair which perfectly matches his skin tone, has teeth growing in, and talks with a lisp. In Music Class he enjoys singing, but usually gets tired of it after a song or two and would rather be messing around...
the other day with music class it was so hot inside that I decided to take them outside to sing under the trees. Going outside in the middle of the schoolday always excited kids, I think. It's refreshing, too. I taught them the song "Siyahamba ekukhanyen kwenkhos" (We are Marching in the Light of God; Marcharémos en la luz de Dios) and we sang it in all three languages. Most of the kids loved it, along with the dance that I taught them. There were a few boys who acted as though they were too cool to dance with us; so, they didn't put forth total effort. Michael was not one of these boys though... nor was he 100% into it and among those who asked if we could do it over and over... especially "¡En Africana!" He seemed to fall in the middle group, the one that partcipated... and had fun, but ehh whatever.

After a morning of making a fool of myself dancing around trees and singing loudly what sounds like gibberish to anyone who speaks English or Spanish... I spent a better part of the afternoon relaxing by the Pulpería and chatting with Darlin, David, Pedro, Manuela, and whoever else was around. At one point I was talking with Michael's older siblings Darlin and David (who are in 5th and 6th grade) and they were telling me about how many siblings they have... then asked me how many kids I want... and David asked me if I wanted Nicaraguan kids, and I said that it depends on who I marry, but it doesn't matter to me... so Darlin asked me if I wanted African kids... well, Michael was coming over; hearing the conversation he interjected that he could speak something in an African language... and started singing the song. Darlin and David thought he was kidding at first David rolled his eyes and Darlin responded in gibberish mocking him. And he turned to me and was like "No! Profe Rebekah, that's right isn't it?" and he sang it again... and when I assured him he was right he walked away with his head held high singing and dancing to Siyahamba ekukhanyen kwenkhos. It was so awesome to see the effect it had on him, and how much joy a simple song brought him.
.....................................................................................................................................................................

This morning I met Raúl on my busride to the Project. He started conversation with me for no apparent reason, maybe I looked cute this morning? Who knows... but he's 23 years old and lives near Masaya... however he works in Managua (that's a long trek, I know because I make it everyday). He works for Pepsi (by the way no one in Nicaragua drinks Pepsi, it's all Coke here) and was on his way home. He goes into work at 6 pm every night, and clocks out at 6 am. 12 hour shifts, 6 or 7 days a week, for not enough pay to live on... it's sad to see... and you may think, Poor kid, he has it rough. Yet, the truth of the matter is, he's pretty lucky. He's among the thirty percent of Nicaraguans who are employed. As I was thinking of this when I met him today, my heart ached anew for the people of this country. If you didn't know, Nicaragua is the second poorest country in our Hemisphere (only Haiti is worse off). 80% live below the Poverty line, and 70% are unemployed. These statistics are massive, and horribly sad... but when I meet these people, I stop thinking about numbers. I see desolation; I see difficult lives without a hope for a better future. The family I live with is poor, but there are many poorer... Raúl is poor, but there are many worse...

Thank you all for your prayers for me, I am overflowed with your love for me and with the Spirit...
Please pray for the people of Nicaragua who are living in poverty...

Please pray for the children at Project Chacocente that they grow in good soil...

historias pequeñas de una servienta pequeña

¡Tengo noticias buenas! Yo encontré la teclada para hacer ";"!
I have good news! I found the semi-colon key! ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Oh the joys of making proper sentences! ¡Gracias a Dios!

I haven't spent much time keeping you all updated lately, please forgive me. I have been very busy doing (and I do keep updated on my journal, and of course I email home) and not so busy informing you about it. Fewer posts on my blog site does not reflect the amount of work I am doing, rest assured.

The past two weeks has had its ups and downs - each day does - but lately I have had significantly more "ups"; in addition, every "down" seems to have a brighter side.
I don't really want to recount the goings on of each and everyday... not only because I can't remember everything, but also because I don't want to bore you to tears! (I am not so egotistical that I presume you would like to read of every single happenstance in my day - but of course Pops, I know the world revolves around me... love you!) Rather, I would like to share with you a few experiences... as each experience has its own story.

Last week I had the opportunity to go with Gabriel and Juan Carlos to Masaya to buy a keyboard for music class. I found one for a great price in ElectroNica! (ElectroNica's mascot is a lightning bolt that has a face with a cowboy hat and it holds a lasso... weird). It's a Casio, has 4 octaves, and plenty of settings, as well as a song bank with a large selection. So, I was quite pleased with my purchase. The trip to Masaya was truly enjoyable, as I had the chance to chat with JuanCarlos. It is really wonderful to get to know the families at the Project - especially the adult members. I spend all day with their children in classes; so, I think I should know them too! (Alright, so this little informative bit isn't really a main part of the story I was going to tell you... but I was really excited about my new keyboard, and I had a great time with Juan Carlos and Gabriel. If I were writing this as a narrative for English class, I would most definitely omit a significant part of this paragraph because it holds no weight in the actual story - but this isn't English class ... and you all should feel my joy of forming a friendship with Juan Carlos :-) ). The next day whenever I walked into the school carrying the keyboard in its box, I was immediately surrounded. Every single student wanted to see the new keyboard.

¡Que bonita!

¿Es tuyo?
¿Es para enseñar música?
¿Puedes tocarlo?

It was awesome to see the excitement in their faces, their eyes shone with anticipation of hearing music from the keyboard, of having the opportunity to play it... sure, all kids love new things, but these kids don't get "new" very often. I didn't have a class until after recess. While I was setting up the keyboard and giving it a whirl many of the students who usually would be outside playing baseball or tag or eating a snack were crowded around me. They wanted to help me open the box, find something to set it on, plug it in, turn it on... (in reality they just wanted to touch it, haha). It was so cute to have their attention (and believe me a new keyboard was a great attention holder for class that day!). One of my favorite parts of the day was during Pre-scholar music class. I gave the students the opportunity to play the keyboard. Of course I wasn't expecting (or even considering) a Mozart to pop out from the bunch, and yes, I realize that none of them would be able to play a song. I just wanted to give them the chance to try it out. I love seeing the different ways kids approach a piano - it so often parallels with their personality. The shyer/quieter ones - like Eveling and Adrianita didn't even want to try it at first... whereas little Miss Eva - she's a talker and most certainly has a mind of her own - was ready to play away. Some of the kids only used one finger, and touched one note at a time, as though they were afraid of making a mistake. Others went at it full force and just jammed away... and others attempted to imitate my playing. I actually did this activity with all of my music classes that day - although Pre-scholar was the most enjoyable... the first and second graders couldn't understand the concept of taking turns, no matter how many times I said only one at a time, wait your turn, make a line, no pushing, etc. etc. With my dear first graders I got so frustrated that I had to turn the keyboard off and had them sing without it the rest of the class. But you know, they sang with so much joy and enthusiasm, and still loved me... even when the kids get unruly and my head starts to hurt a bit these kids bring a smile to my face!

Another day last week I had to teach 5 Art classes, three groups of first graders and two groups of second graders (they had art and computer classes back to back - so we split them up). It was a surprise because there is an art teacher at the school (who was hired to teach English and also has been teaching art... although he's not a very arty person - he was just available and they didn't have a volunteer to teach it at the start of the semester) but he didn't show up that day. So rather than my being there to help him teach art, I had to come up with an idea... and just go with it. Well it's October, and Halloween is coming -

sidenote: Nicaraguans do not celebrate Halloween, as it doesn't have the reputation that it has in the USA, you know a day for kids to dress up and eat candy, the no-harm-Halloween... however, it is slowly becoming more accepted, and Cheryl Avery (project director) likes Halloween, and wants the kids to have the fun of experiencing dressing up in costumes and getting candy and making jack-o-lanterns etc. Therefore, Chacocente celebrates Halloween in the school.

So, we made spiders to decorate the classrooms. These spiders were awesome. I made one as an example... cut out a construction paper body, added some pipe cleaner legs, some puffy eyes, and then made a spider web out of yarn with popsicle sticks as the frame for it... and hung my spider from it... Then I got the kids started. Some of them thought the spider was so cool - but were completely unconfident in doing it themselves. The second graders were significantly more independent and creative, adding detail and color and personality. The first graders took awhile to catch on to this. But although the classes were frustrating because it was a lot of cutting and glueing and helping... paper and yarn flying everywhere and a lot of yelling "¡No toca!" y "Un momento!" y "¡Esperate!" y "Necesitas secarlo!" My voice hurt, I was tired, I had a headache, I didn't know if I had helped everyone... but at the end of each class I had a desk covered with the awesomest, most creative, paper spiders... of all different forms, colors, shapes, sizes... and the kids as well as both Profesores Yamileth y Marbel were pumped to hang them up in the classroom!

This weekend I had the unfortunate experience of being sick - Friday and Saturday. My stomach was horrible, I slept from 4 pm on Friday until 8 am on Saturday, and lounged around most of Saturday, slowly recuperating. I missed church Friday which was disheartening because I so enjoy worship here, I'm always so filled with the spirit worshipping with my brothers and sisters in mi iglesia here in Sabana Grande... but you know some days I'm going to be sick. Some days are going to be rough... some days I am just going to want to go home, but I have to get through it. If it wasn't a bit rough, then where would the reward be? If I didn't have a little struggle, how could I feel accomplishment? Being sick gave me a lot of opportunity to think - which is something I really love to do... I did a lot of meditating, and praying, and writing... and it was refreshing. Then, today not only did I feel better physically, but I woke up so refreshed mentally... just ready to praise the Lord; after all it's Sunday!

Culto was so meaningful today (both this morning and tonight). This morning one thing we did in church was read Joshua 1:8 over and over to memorize it, and then Pastor Pablo had people in the congregation recite it from memory. So, I'm trying to memorize it too, and I mostly have. What made this "exercise" (for lack of a better term) so special for me was that everyone in the church participated without a thought. Everyone saw the purpose in memorizing a scripture... it's not to be able to recite it in front of the church, or some useless activity to take up time... it's to imprint the words on your mind and your heart... to mull them over, and have them mean something to you... God's words in Joshua 1:8 reflect an important discipline of the Christian walk...

Nunca se apartará de tu boca este libro de la Ley, sino que de día y de noche meditarás en él, para que guardes y hagas conforme a todo lo que está escrito en él, porque entonces harás prosperar tu camino y todo te saldrá bien. Josué 1:8

Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. Joshua 1:8 NLT

drenched in experiences

Yesterday was absolutely wonderful... and extremely trying... much fun... and challenging as well. But it was all in all a blessing. When I decided to come here, to follow a calling I felt... I only really thought of all the awesome fun exciting new experiences I would be having. I considered that not everything would be easy or positive, but I didn't dwell on all of the opportunities for things to go wrong. Yet, as I am here and experiences difficulties right along with joy... I still am not dwelling on the "bad." It would be so easy to complain about all the rough things, and the adjusting I have to do... but I signed up for this. I feel I am called to be here surely, but ultimately I chose to make the journey. And on this journey everyday I am learning. I learn as much from the difficulties (if not more than) as the "good" experiences. And each day seems to have a little mixture of both.

Wednesday was such. I woke up refreshed (as I had Tuesday off, because there was no school), and ready to get going! I met up with Guillen and Rafa and took the bus to Zona Franca as usual. I walked through the Market and got on a bus that said "Tipitapa, Managua." This bus wasn't a full sized bus, but I'd taken various looking buses before, and never had a problem. As long as the sign is the same, I feel pretty secure. Well, this was not the right bus. It took a different route through Tipitapa, and did NOT pass by my stop. I am not familiar with Tipitapa, except for my bus stop, and the road that leads to and from it. When this little bus was emptied, and not anywhere near where I needed to be, the bus-man asked me where I was headed... I explained where I needed to go, and he got me a taxi. The taxi man assured me that I should take an Express van towards Masaya, rather than going to the bus stop, because it would be faster. So, I took the advice, and went to an Express van... but while I was waiting, I felt extremely uncomfortable with the doorman. He was just... well for lack of a better word... a creeper, and I did not want to be around him... he was looking at me in a way I did not enjoy... so, while I was waiting in the Express van uneasily, I saw a bus that said "Tipitapa, Masaya" (which is the next bus I take), so I bolted for it. I was not going to be in a situation where I didn't feel safe. I got on the bus, and paid my 6 cordoba... ready to go to Santa del Fine... and relieved... although I was late. Well, I got comfortable too quickly... I hadn't thought to inquire anything about the bus... yet again... and after a five minute busride, was still in Tipitapa... the bus was returning from Masaya. WAY TO GO BEKAH! So, I got off, and got on another bus... that was getting ready to leave for Masaya... and in about another half hour... and 26 cordoba poorer... I was off to my bustop - Santa del Fine. I arrived without a problem. Thank God... and although I was an hour and a half later... and frazzled from the transportation mistakes I'd made... I felt good. I had a nice, muddy, bike ride to the Project... and the day just got better and better!

I missed helping with the 4th/5th Grade art... and I missed my 3rd grade music class... but all was forgiven. People are late all the time here, and since I'm a volunteer, they're just happy that I come help. I was just in time for the Second Grade music class. I had gotten the words for Jesus Loves Me, in Spanish -

"Cristo me ama, bien lo sé. Su palabra me hace ver. Que los niños son de aquel. Quien es nuestro amigo fiel. Cristo me ama. Cristo me ama. Cristo me ama. La Biblia dice asi."

- and then taught them the good ol' summer camp version of Jesus Loves Me. With hand clapping, and shouting "Whoo!"... the whole works. At first they were all shy to sing, as well as horrible with the clapping rhythym (not too mention out of tune), but by the end of the hour they were laughing and singing, and having an awesome time. They sang by themselves, in pairs, in small groups, boys versus the girls... and they didn't want to stop. It was so rewarding to see them light up and receive so much joy, just because I taught them to sing and clap to a song.

The next class I had was first grade music. They were excited to see me, because I spent my first three weeks here in their classroom and they were used to having me there all day. The problem with this was that they knew me so well, they thought they could get away with misbehaving. I had to yell over them, and stop what I was doing to break them apart, or quiet them down, more than once. But once they understood that it wasn't a free for all they settled down. And it was as successful and rewarding as the second grade class. These kids love music, and to sing. They like to have a break from the writing and sitting... to have time to move around and make noise. I am so blessed to work with them, and I am glad I am teaching music!

The good things didn't end there!!!! Yesterday was a special day for Juan Carlos and Karen, a couple at the Project. They have five girls, two of whom had their birthdays yesterday! As well, Juan Carlos and Karen were married! I had thought they were married before, but I kind of gathered that they weren't legally... probably because of money. Anyhow, there was a huge fiesta at their house after school (which let out early for the party). We had two piñatas, and plenty of cake and pop for everyone, as well as a blessing cermony for the family.
It started to rain after the piñatas and we all went inside... but the party was still lively, and enjoyed by everyone. I felt so much a part of it, so included. It is amazing how in such a short time I can become so close to these people and become a part of their lives, their community, their family.

When the rain stopped I biked to my bus stop... because the path was so muddy my jeans were splatted with mud up to my thighs. As soon as I arrived at Santa del Fine the rain began again. In Tipitapa it was raining harder... when I got off at Zona it was pouring buckets, and the street was a river. Walking through the market was like fording a river. The busride home there was not a single person who was not completely drenched and dripping...

Back at the Tellez home the rain continued steadily. We did not have culto last night... but what we did do was as refreshing and beneficial, if not more. Pablo, Janeth, Belen, Isaac, and I gathered in the living room with Pablo at the guitar, for praise and devotionals. We were soon joined by Guillen, Manuel, Karla, and Jeryll. Even the rain would not stop us from praising. It was a beautiful spiritual reunion, as we sang and read scripture and devotional, discussed how it applied to us (And yes, I participated fully... and in Spanish!), and prayed, and sang some more. I cannot describe what we shared as the Holy Spirit moved among us, but I am sure that many of you have felt it before in similar situations of worship.

Renuevame Señor Jesus. Ya no quiero ser igual.
Renuevame Señor Jesus. Pon en mi tu corazon.
Porque todo lo que dentro de mi, necesita ser cambiada Señor.
Porque todo lo que hay dentro de mi corazon, necesita mas de ti.

God never stops showering me in blessings nor does he cease to drench me in new experiences.

La Profesora de Música

Yesterday marked my first official day teaching music. (The reason I am not at Chacocente today is because of the ridiculous amount of rain yesterday, school was canceled today... yes, they have rain days as we have snow days!)

My day began with Pre-scholar. They are probably the easiest to teach because the extent of their defiance is not standing up when asked, or sitting down while they ought to be standing. I taught them two songs that I learned doing Children's Evangelism in Paraguay: "Adentro, Afuera, Arriba, Abajo. Soy siempre muy feliz." (Right In, Right Out, Right Up, Right Down, I'm Happy all the time...") and "Lee su Biblia, y Ora cada Día" (I don't know that this is a song in English, but it translates, "Read your Bible, and Pray each Day").

At first none of the children wanted to do anything. But once I got them moving around, they had a good time. Because the first song has a lot of movement. Reaching up and down and out... before we sang we had to prepare ourselves. So we had to do some stretching... And we reached for the sky, and then touched our toes... up and down and up and down... until they almost fell over laughing. They were a fun fun group. I am looking forward to working with them more and I really think they will be able to learn countless songs and motions with them.

Next I had 4th, 5th, and 6th grade. I decided I would actually teach them to read music. Then, whenever I buy a keyboard for the school, they will be able to learn to play it. I don't expect to have any prodigies... but learning to read music is a good skill that many people don't possess. Unfortunately, they had a lot of difficulty understanding that each line and space on the staff was a different note. I really expected more out of them than they gave, which I guess means I just have more work in front of me. Yet, I think I will able to do it.

The next three grades were more difficult.
With second grade I did not know exactly what to expect. I wanted to teach them the solfage, so they could learn the notes separately, and then later we could apply it to songs. We worked on it the whole time, and when it was over, no one could sing it alone... although Jonathan was really close and he can carry a tune very well. Although this helped me know better what to do with first grade... and that I needed to change my plans for Music Class.

The first graders are insane... mostly because I've been working with them and gotten to know them for 3 weeks already. So, they feel they can act in whatever capacity they please. With them, we worked on the solfage... "do re mi fa so la si do"... here it is not "ti" it is "si" I learned - thankfully before I went to teach them anything. I don't know that it matters at all, but that's how they do it. After learning it, and them attempting to sing it we did an exercise with it. I wrote in chalk on the floor 8 lines with one of the syllables on each line. Then I would sing one of the notes, and they had to jump to it. It loosed a lot of their energy and hopefully made some connection of how the notes don't just go in order whenever you sing. After this I taught them "Adentro, Afuera..." They had a lot of fun with it, and wanted to learn it in English, but after singng it once in English they were content with Spanish haha.

With third grade, I started with the solfage again... just to make sure and see if it was just the second grade (and a little bit the first as they had some trouble with pitch) or if it was maybe not the best way to teach these kids. It was about as successful as before. But then Gretel, who really wanted to sing, led us all in "Te amó más que mi vida" a praise song we sing in culto here quite often. Then when we finished I asked how they felt about learning to read music. Their response was greatly positive, and encouraging. The results were about the same as the 4th, 5th, 6th grade - which shows me that I have a lot of work cut out for me, but that they can do it.

I've decided that if I mix singing with learning to read the music, and even learning to write out the notes to a song they are already familiar with, they might be more responsive. Especially once I have a keyboard. With the First and Second graders I'll probably focus more on singing - like with the pre-schoolers - except I think I'll actually do musical exercises with them. I need to purchase my keyboard, I just haven't had the opportunity to go do that... and I await some songbooks that I ordered.

Yesterday I also had the pleasure of meeting three volunteers who are working with MEFEL a Christian Mission Camp in Tipitapa. They are volunteering at Chacocente for a week or two, and are doing other work with MEFEL during their 6 weeks or so in the country. Two of them are from the States, and one is actually from Nicaragua - she just really loves volunteering, and takes up the opportunity with different groups whenever she can. Andy, Ana, and Esperanza are all my age, and here for different reasons, but ultimately they too will be accomplishing God's will... some at the Project, and also at other places in the country. Please remember them in your prayers as well. They will be working with MEFEL until the end of October.

Yesterday at the end of the schoolday it rained, horribly. So, we waited until it stopped before we rode our bikes to the road. The pathway, was so muddy and slippy, it was ridiculous. But I would have rather biked it than had my shoes caked with mud. The rain started again while I was on my second to last bus. And it rained worse and worse as I got closer to my stop. When I got off the bus for my short walk home The street was ankle deep with water, and the rain was pelting. My rain jacket was not much good... I arrived home soaked through... but I felt very refreshed, rain feels nice after a hot day...

Showers of blessings were provided for my first day as Music Teacher... I am excited for what tomorrow will bring.

comfort in plans

The past few days have been absolutely wonderful!

Sunday was the 47th Anniversary of the AICN (Asociacíon de Iglesias de Cristo de Nicaragua - Association of the Church of Christ in Nicaragua). There are 150 churches in the AICN. Pastor Pablo - my host dad - is the President of it (which is a Bishop-like position). All of the churches met for a large joint worship service at the Campamento. A large Campground that has a huge pavilion where we held church. All of the members of El Buen Pastor piled in the bus here in front of my house at about 6:30 in the morning to go to worship! We arrived at the camp around 8:00 and we left at 12:30. It was a marvelous testament to connectionalism within church denominations... and made me feel right at home!

The past week or so, I've been helping my friend Marli - a young person in the church - with an English presentation that she had to give. One part of the Presentation was to sing a song in English, so we were practicing Oh Happy Day together. She asked me if I could take a day off at the Project to sing with her for her presentation, and I readily agreed (I love a performance!). So on Monday we spent our morning preparing her for all aspects of the presentation, and then we headed out to her school, Cornerstone, for class. However, things aren't always what we plan. The second Marli introduced me to her Professor I was hustled back to another classroom with the further advanced students to speak with them. I felt awful leaving Marli high and dry... (fortunately it turned out that the song-aspect of her presentation wasn't until Tuesday, and so I wouldn't have done anything in the class anyway.)
I walked into a room of around 20 or so people, ranging from probably around 16 to 30. I introduced myself, and was ATTACKED with questions! I have NEVER had a room of people so attentive to me. Never have I given a presentation, or shared to roomful of people (about ANYTHING) where I have truly been the center of everyone's focus (although Pops assures me that I am the center of the universe all the time... I never felt so sure of it before yesterday hahahaha). It was so much fun to meet all of these people (in second and third level) and speak with them. Cornerstone is an interesting program, each level is 2 months... there are 6 levels and within a year you are fluent in English. The second and third level students had EXCELLENT language skills. I'm not sure that my Spanish skills don't compare with their English skills... and only one person in the class had ever been to the USA.
They asked about me, my life, my town, state, family, food, hobbies, talents, education, country... they talked of their country, history, politics, tourism. They wanted to know what I was doing in Nicaragua, where I'd been, what I liked of it, etc. etc. We discussed History of both countries, as well as Politics, Religion, and I had an AWESOME opportunity to evangelize - which I completely embraced. It was such a great experience. I was invited back, they would love me to come as often as possible, and I'm sure I would return - I feel I could really have an impact for Jesus there.

Then there was today - Tuesday. Originally I was going to take another day off (I know that sounds like I am just not working) to go with Isaac to visit his University, and also to do some shopping (not shopping just for fun... although it would have been... but to get some things that I need). Well, Omar - the volunteer/delegation organizer for the Project - gave me a call yesterday, and asked that I come to the Project today. So, I changed my plans.
I went to the Project this morning and when Omar arrived we discussed what I've been up to. He's been busy with other aspects of his job, and hasn't been able to devote as much time to my work at the Project as he maybe should have been... but Nicaraguan time isn't exactly a New York Minute... When he realized that all I was really doing was teaching reading to 5 first graders once a day, and then just filling in when people needed help, he felt badly. Usually they've had a position pretty much set up when Volunteers arrive... and usually there is another volunteer here who is about to leave, and can take the new volunteer under his/her wing and teach them everything they need to know. Well, with little me that hasn't exactly been the case... another reason why I've been here over three weeks and ball has hardly been rolling...
So, I have a real position, and tomorrow Javier (the school director) and I are going to meet to figure out my specific schedule!!! I am going to be teaching Music! I will also be assisting Bermon (the Art/English teacher) with Art class... because he was only teaching Art because no one else was available at the beginning of the semeseter. I'll have one or two music classes on Monday Tuesday and Thursday, help with Art on Tuesday and Thursday (I believe those are the Art days), and continue to be the first grade advanced readers' teacher. This pretty much encompasses what my work at the school will be for the next three months. It will definitely be difficult/taxing to come up with a music program, and teach it, with little music vocabulary (but God will provide!). Because of some donations I'll be able to purchase some much needed materials (Thank You everyone who has supported me monetarily).
As I have briefly mentioned (in my Life is Like a Box of Chocolates entry) I will also be implementing an after school club for the young girls. We don't have a specific start date yet, I imagine that ball might not get rolling until the beginning October - but no worries, when it starts I am sure it will have an amazing impact. (October is only 8 days away!) Also, as school ends for the semester at the end of November, I will be here for most of December, and be able to continue the Girl's Club whenever they don't have school - it being my main focus/mission. Anyway, I am glad it's not starting right away, because I need to get the music class squared away first!

I know you are all already praying for me... but just to recap - please thank God for the opportunities I have to serve him here - whether I go to Cornerstone and help them with their English, while witnessing... or whether I am teaching music, helping with Art, or working with the Girl's Club (we're really going to have to come up with a name for it... any suggestions?? "Girl's Club" sounds rather LAME) - I feel God is using me in amazing ways and has so many plans and purposes for my short time in this place. I am so blessed to have this opportunity - but it's not MY mission - it's obviously God's, but as well it's YOUR mission. You at home who are thinking of me, praying for me, and supporting me, have as much a role to play... so continue to keep our work in your daily talk with Jesus.

Thank you for being together with me in mission and in Spirit. ¡Que Dios les bendiga!

Five Advanced Readers

My current main position at Chacocente is to teach Reading to the Five advanced readers in first grade. (We have more plans for my volunteering, but they have yet to be put into the works... time moves slowly here).
Nelson, Edwin, Ramón, Douglas, and Adriana are my students...
Because I'm working so closely with them, I thought you might like to know what they're like:

Nelson (6 years old) is smart. It's his first year in 1st grade. He reads generally well. Unfortunately, he has serious issues paying attention (can anyone say ADHD?). He doesn't want to try anything new if he doesn't think he can do it - or if he doesn't feel like it. He enjoys reading, accepts correction, but doesn't like reading when someone asks him to. His favorite time to read is when it's someone else's turn!!!

Edwin (is probably 7, but I'm not sure... it's his first year in 1st grade) I think, is the slowest reader in the group. Yet, he works hard to keep up. If he makes a mistake he wants to fix it. He's very careful and persistant. He wants to learn more, read more, work hard. I don't think he's as natural of a reader as the others, but he can sure keep up!

Ramón (not sure of his age, 6 maybe, is also a first time 1st grader). He is smart! He likes to read fast - and thinks that makes him a better reader. However, because he reads quickly he often stumbles. He doesn't particularly recognize the different consonant sounds and connect them with what he's reading on the page. He also gets distracted, but he can read.

Now there's Douglas (he's 8, and a second time 1st grader because part way through the beginning of last year his parents pulled him out of school). He's my brainiac. Douglas reads well and swiftly, rarely faltering. Yet, not too swiftly so one can understand. He likes to show off. He doesn't respond well to criticsm. If he's corrected while reading, rather than look again at the words to understand his mistake, he just continues as though he never faltered. Yet, he's among the smartest in the class in general.

Adriana is my only girl (she's 8, but I don't know if she's a repeater). She's quiet, shy, and unconfident. She's also VERY bright and works hard. She always gives her best and performs well. Adriana works diligently and does not show off. She soaks in correction, and is always improving herself. But, if she doesn't know somethingrather than take a stab at it, she shies away from the page unless she is prompted or encouraged otherwise.

They're a good mix of kids to work with, although they don't always work well together. They do enjoy reading and learning! And they are all very special to me.

Worship in Sabana Grande

The past few days I haven't been doing much. Monday was Independence Day here in Nicaragua, so Chacocente hasn't had school since last Friday. They start back tomorrow. I've had a little vacation from the Project... just enjoying my new family, new friends, new church. Sorry I haven't blogged, but I really didn't know what to talk about. I thought maybe you'd enjoy an overview on what Church is like here.

La Iglesia - El Buen Pastor is part of Nicaragua's Church of Christ Denomination (it has no relation to the USA Church of Christ - but in fact does have ties to our United Methodist Church). Its Pastor - Pablo Telléz (my host dad) is also the President of the Church of Christ Denomination of Nicaragua. There is another Pastor in the church, sort of like an associate - Hermano Pedro. He's about 30 years old, and preaches once or twice a week.
Church usually begins at 7:00 pm Monday through Wednesday, and Friday. Saturday is Youth Service. On Sundays morning church is usually at 8:30 or 9:00 (they never really start anything "on time") and evening church is at 5:00. However, the first Sunday of each month early church is at 5:00 AM. On Sundays the women of the church cook soup to raise money for the church. Janeth (my host mom) pretty much leads that. It is excellent soup, but like nothing I've ever had in the States.
El Buen Pastor is a more contemporary Evangelical Church - there are very traditional ones as well (I went to a traditional church service about a week or so ago). Church generally begins with gathering music. Pablo leads sometimes, and there are about 5 or so others that lead at other times. Some night's there is just guitar, other nights there is just voice, sometimes we have drums and piano as well. But whatever the case, the singing isn't done solely by the people up front! During the singing we'll have La Lectura (a reading). Someone from the Congregation (generally someone different every night) comes up to read the Bible reading and then pray. After which there is more singing. Then we'll have the offering. Someone else from the Congregation will come up and hold the offering basket, standing at the front of the church. Then while we sing joyously people parade up front to place their offerings in the plate, in front of the entire congregation. (This is very Old Testament - but totally awesome). After the song, the person holding the offering basket prays. Then we may sing some more. Or we'll have Especiales. We don't have Specials every service, but maybe two or three times in a week. People from the Congregation who so desire go up front and sing a song, whoever is on guitar just picks it up and starts playing. Sometimes the congregation sings along, and sometimes they just enjoy the music. But usually 3 or 5 or more people will go up and share. After which we may sing some more praises, or have the Message.
The message always begins with another Scripture reading. Pastor Pablo usually gives it, but Hermano Pedro does often as well... and a couple times we've had others give it. At times someone will give a testimony before the message. Then finally we'll end with prayer and song and benediction. Then everyone goes around the church and greets each other "¡Que Dios te bendiga!"

That's just an outline of the service, but experiencing it is something else. They don't have a screen or hymnals or songsheets to read the words to the songs. They all KNOW them. And they clap and sing strongly and move around. Whenever there's a point in the service where there's a technical difficulty, or a short break, or whatever, the congregation fills it with Hallelujahs, Amens, and Praise Gods (such things are also distributed quite effectively throughout the entire service). It is such an overwhelming feeling of warmth to worship with these people. One of the coolest things that is done often is the Singing of Psalms. They have music that goes to many of the Psalms, and they all just sing the words straight from the Bible like a Praise Chorus! It's so cool!
Something else they do is Celebrate people's birthdays... we've had 3 since last week. At the end of the service the Birthday person goes up front and we sing and sing various birthday/blessing songs while we all parade up front and hug them. Then we recite this special birthday blessing, which I don't know, with our hands outstretched. Pastor Pablo prays, and the Birthdayee has an opportunity to speak. He/she usually just talks for a minute or so... praising God and thanking people and the Church for the impact its had on his/her life.
I just think it's awesome that everyone has an opportunity to partcipate in worship. Whether with Specials, or Testimony, or Reading, or doing the Offering, or having a birthday. It's not up to a few select people or groups. It really is about the WHOLE church.
There is nothing uptight about Worship here. No certain time requirements to meet, no structure that must be followed, no offense when you sit in someone's spot, or anything like that. It's okay to get up in the middle because something comes up...

(for instance, last night... Yesterday was hot. It was really really hot. I did my laundry and hung it on the line to dry. Before Church it still wasn't completely dry, (i dont know why but church was at 5:00 last night... probably because of the Holiday). So, I decided to wait until after church to take care of it. While we were sitting in church it began to get really dark, earlier than usual, and it was very cool and windy outside. I knew it was going to rain, it felt like rain, it smelled like rain... and I wanted rain because it had been so hot! BUT all my clothes were on the line, and Pablo was just starting the message. I was sitting in the front row of the church. Well, I just got up, walked out the side door, and took all my clothes down. When I was about halfway done the rain started to drop... and by the time I was pulling my last shirt off the line I realized I had started just in time. I got under the porch roof and it just poured! I put my laundry in my room and walked back over to church and sat down... No one looked at me when I came in, no one asked me why I left.)

Another thing I love about this church is the Young People. They have a thriving group of around 20 or 25 Young People. Who are all pretty regular, and involved. They don't do Youth Group like in the States though. The Young people begin at about age 16 or 17 or so... and goes till about 30. (They have younger kids in the church, but they're still in Sunday School... which they have once or twice a week during Culto). Guillen, he's 20 as of yesterday, is the President. Every Saturday night they have service, led by themselves. It begins just the way the regular services do, with worship and offering, but instead of a message they break into small groups and study scripture. After studying it someone from each group shares what the group's thoughts are. I really enjoy it a lot, and Saturday night I spoke up in my Small Group and gave my thoughts on something... I only had to ask Isaac for help with 2 or 3 words... so it was good. LuzMarina said that everyone understood me! After the Bible Study we go back to the pews (girls on one side, boys on the other) and have a competition. First it begins with Guillen reading scripture and us racing to find where he's reading it from. The first person to find it stands up and reads aloud along with him. I can't participate in that one, because even with a Spanish Bible, I won't know where to find it... it takes me long enough to figure out exactly what he's talking about, and then after that to figure out where it would be... I can't do that yet. After this, they might give a passage and the first person to say the first word of it gets a point. There are various other games they do this way. They also do a memory verse part. How many memory verses can each team recite in 1 minute? and Bible Trivia Questions. I participate in these two because they let me say memory verses in English, and my Bible Trivia is pretty good. At the end of the Competition we add up the points, Boys versus Girls. The girls won on Saturday. So Youth Service is like a cross between Worship, Bible Study, and Youth Group... it's so much fun. When it's over a lot of us remain to hang out at Parsonage... actually the Young people do that every night after church. Some nights they might go get a 3 liter of Coke and Pico for all, and other nights they just sit around and talk. The regulars are Guillen, Rafael, Hermano Pedro, Karla, Marly, and Joel. Sometimes more stay, sometimes less.

This is probably the best description I can give worship here in words. But it doesn't amount to the emotion and warmth one experiences while participating in the loving community of worship at El Buen Pastor.

Life is like a box of chocolates...

So, right now it´s 11 00 am. I didn´t go to the Project today because I woke up feeling sick. I don't know whether it's allergies, or a cold, or what... but my throat and head don't feel great... and my stomach isn't doing amazingly either. But that's alright. I slept in and I feel a lot better and rested now.

Monday... Monday was my worst day so far. You have to take the bad with the good, however. When I woke up Monday I was excited to go to the Project. I had gone by myself before and hadn't had a problem, my bike was supposed to be fixed, it was a new day! Well on my third bus I missed my stop at Santa de Fine. I don't know what happened... but when the buses are so full and you really can't see much of anything it's pretty easy to do. I realized it as I started to see landmarks that I did not recognize. I was frustrated and near tears at this point, but I held off on the crying. I arrived to the end of the route in Masaya and wanted to just take the bus on the same route back. But they weren't leaving for awhile. So, I wandered around a bit until a lovely little taxi man asked me, "¿A dondé va?" (Where are you going?). I told him I needed to get to Project Chacocente, and he told me it would be 80 cordoba (divide that by 19.5 and you get dollars, so it really isn't that much money... but a busride is only 8 cordoba). He took me there, and I arrived at 9 05, I usually get there about 8 30 or so... so it really wasn't all too bad. I arrived after the first graders were done with their Spanish, so I didn't get to help my advanced readers. Really, all I did was observe, and that frustrated me even more. I was a little depressed, and I began to feel sorry for myself (which in turn made me more angry). I was here to help people, to be selfless and giving. Not to be depressed and caught up in my self. Sure I would have times where I would be sad and frustrated but just look at what these people have been through! Well those didn't stop how I felt. After missing the bus and Spanish class... I began to miss my family, things about the States, and being able to understand what people said to me. I felt really alone. The kids were all great, as always, but it didn't change my sadness. After school ended Cheryl (Project Director) had come with Gabrielle and Omar to have a meeting with the adults of the Project. I decided I would wait till it was over and talk to Omar and Charito about how I felt. I also really didn't want to get back on the buses yet, or ride my new bike, although I was glad it was fixed! I just wanted to go back to Sabana Grande! I sat in the school cafeteria and had a little pity party as I cried. Then I stopped and was just sitting in the cafeteria window waiting when Evert walked by, he was on his way home. Evert is 10 years old and has the same mannerisms as my little brother Caleb. He hugs me the same way too. Well he came over to me and rested his head on my leg for probably 5 minutes. It was all I could do to choke back tears... I missed my little brother... and my family... and this and that... the thoughts started streaming again. After I said adios to little Evert I began to cry again.

Then Eliam came over. He was a little Godsend. I had never talked to Eliam before, but he just came right up and said "Hola," in a shy way. I responded "Hola" and hoped he would then go away. He did not. So I opened up conversation. His day went well. He was 8 years old and in 3rd grade (awesome!!!). He was waiting for his dad (who was working on some construction) . Then he pulled himself up next to me on the windowsill and pulled out his Spanish book. He wanted me to read to him. So I read a silly little story out of it. Then he wanted another, and another. By the fourth one, I asked him to read. He did it, but he had some troubles. So I was able to help him. He read probably 3 stories as well. It felt so good to help him with his reading, keep him company, and stop thinking about myself. Thank you God for little Eliam! After we were done I was on my way over to sit in a bit on the meeting while I waited for it to end. As I walked over Eliam ran up to me and handed me a butterfly wing. It was orange and black, and absolutely beautiful. I guess it was a kind of "thank you," and I love it!

After the meeting Cheryl asked me if I was going with them. I had trouble answering without crying, and I said that I wanted to and I really didn't feel like taking the buses this afternoon. (I had already told her what had happened that morning... that was before I had started my cry fest). She said that was fine! I was always welcome to come with them. And then Omar came over and asked if I was going to ride my bike. I broke down. He left to go take care of my bike and Charito just hugged me. She held me close and said to me "You're so courageous." I didn't feel courageous at all. I felt like I was being childish and selfish. I felt like I'd given up. But she comforted me. The whole trip in the truck she just chatted away about anything, but she didn't pressure me to express what I was feeling or to open up anything that would make me break down again. She knew why I had been crying, she understood that I was frustrated. A little fact about me is that I don't cry very often. I cry whenever I'm very frustrated. Before Monday, the last time I had cried was last January, because I received an 87% on a paper, that was probably the best paper I'd ever written (that's another story). So, I was long overdue for tears I'm sure, but I'm not a practiced cryer.

On the way home we stopped at Papa John's... Mejor Ingredientes. Mejor pizza. (yes they have a Papa John's here!!!) for a snack of cheesesticks and I had a sweet tea (it was really good!). Charito talked to me a bit about this idea she has for what I'll be doing at the Project... something more than just helped 1st graders read. She wants to start a kind of Club for the girls. Here in Nicaragua when a girl is about 13 or 14, some boy will tell her he loves her, she'll marry him, have a baby or two or more... and then he'll leave her. She's stuck with children, and no way to support them. She wants these girls to have opportunity. She wants them to go to college, to University, to have options (even here in this poverty stricken country). She doesn't know what the curriculum will be, we might do some dance, or some music, anything to give the young girls something outside of school and home. I'm so excited for it! (And I wish I hadn't been sick this morning because Charito is at the Project today, and she and I need to make a lunch date to put the curriculum together. But, I think health is probably a top priority. )
So that was the end of my unpleasant day ... there was definitely some positive in it though, but overall I felt horrible. When I returned home and was asked how my day went I responded that it wasn't good. And my lovely family didn't pressure me for answers. They understood that it would be difficult sometimes. I was fed, I went to church, I hung out with the youth, and I went to bed. I did not want to get up in the morning.

Tuesday I was nervous. I did not want to repeat the day before. I went as usual with Guillen and Rafael by bus to Zona Franca where they work. Guillen waited with me until I caught the bus to Tipitapa. I got there without a problem. I got on the bus to Masaya. And I was nervous. I had a seat near the front and could see well. I was still nervous. I was sitting up straight the whole time. I had told the bus driver and the money collecter that I had to get off at Santa del Fine. But I kept thinking I would miss it. I didn't. I got off at the right stop, walked across the street and picked up my bike. My bike is wonderful, it is fixed! There are some parts on the path where it's pretty difficult. Being out of practice on a bike made it annoying at points. But I made it without falling or any serious bike maintenance problems (Thank you God and Juan Carlos). I was soaking with sweat, because it was so hot... but I felt wonderful.
I walked into the class and was attacked by 14 1st graders. They all came running and shouting "¡Profe Rebekah!" Then they all hugged me at once and I nearly fell over! The day went well, I helped with Math and anything else they were having trouble with. I played with them during the lunch hour. A really bad storm started up, so the kids were sent home not long after lunch. I'm not sure that it rained, so I think it was a heat storm. Verma the English/Art teacher was correcting the English grammar to someone's translation. It was horrible. I don't know who did it, or what it was for, but it looked like they stuck it in a free online translator. Verma isn't really an English nerd, like me. So I kind of took it over. Then I translated a two page document from Spanish into English for the same person who had written the previous. I don't know why I was doing it, but I'm glad to have helped. I learned a few more words in Spanish that way! And it made me feel better about my language skills and more useful.

While I was doing this Juan was working on some Spanish. Juan is 15, and he doesn't read very well. He was working on about first or second grade Spanish consonants. I could see he was frustrated, and embarrassed. But he kept at it. It rips at my heart to see that. He should be a sophomore in High School not learning how to read. And it isn't that he doesn't want to learn. If he didn't, he wouldn't be there struggling with his consonants! Please remember Juan in your prayers.

At about 300 I left the Project, and had a lovely bike ride back to the road. I waited for a caught the bus, and got off, and caught the next, and got off and walked through the Market. While I was waiting for the Sabana Grande bus at Zona Franca, Pastor Pablo's brother came up to me. I had recognized him from the church, but I didn't know he was Pablo's brother. He kept me company, directed me to the right bus (since it was his too), and made sure the bus people knew I was getting off at the church. He also kept conversation going with me. It was great to practice some more. I arrived at the house tired, but in a great mood! I enjoyed my dinner and then I helped Jereson (I think that's his name) with some chords to a praise song on the keyboard.

In worship last night I read La Lectura. The Bible reading. It was a surprise because Pablo had said that I would be reading sometime, but he didn't say when or what (and he seemed to have forgotten that). I had to pray after reading Psalm 1, and I at first I was nervous until he told me that I could pray in English because God understands everything. That made me relax, and I read Salmos 1 in slow Spanish. But I did it, and it was great to be a part of the service. I went to bed fulfilled... and happy to be here serving God.

I'm going to have bad days. I'm 18 years old, in a country thousands of miles from home, I've been away from home alone longer than ever before (Friday marks one month that I have not slept in my bed), I don't speak the language perfectly yet, my diet's changed, my schedule's changed, the climate is different, the customs are different, and riding buses is not always a great experience. But regardless of the difficulties, I am here with a purpose, and as it is beginning to unfold I feel even more content and at home...

Pablo told me last week, I don't need to be nervous. If I felt God calling me here, then He will walk with me.